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Starting Over Again …and Again.

Last updated on January 31, 2023

Starting over again and again and again…it’s all I’ve ever done. So, here I go, again!

Whenever I have an “aha” moment I ‘write’ essays and stories in my mind and always say “one day I’ll put this in my book.” And whenever I tell a tiny-bit of my journey someone inevitably says “you are writing a book aren’t you?” My answer is always “yes, absolutely!”

For many reasons I’m glad I haven’t till now but today is the NOW I’ve chosen. I’m not waiting another minute…not for the perfect outline or the perfect office setup or the right website/social-media/WHATEVER! It’s here and it’s now and it’s messy and very imperfect….and, one day all this mess will be my “book.” For now it’s a page on Facebook where I live and love and connect (so done apologizing for that!) and now WRITE and speak too.

Right here on this Facebook page Photini’s Story I will free-associate my way through, with your help (yes please participate) my story and then copy these real-time storied over to my website —> Elise Photini .com

See, years ago now I attended a business/entrepreneur conference. It was my very first foray into developing my own voice. Until this weekend I had only ever spoken up in 12-step meetings or therapy. I had a vague and inspired idea that my voice was meant for a larger audience. I decided to be fearless and break out of my small-town, very-tiny-circle, life. I jumped up at every opportunity to announce myself and stepped up to participate and speak.

But I was met with mixed-messages, with critiques couched in openness. By that I mean that I was told BOTH “your story is truly amazing, more need to hear from you” and “what? You want to what? Is that even a thing?”

In my self-doubting, wobbly place I shut down hard on myself. I made huge walls around sharing my own story. “Don’t try speaking up again until you know for SURE you will get it right.”

And so for the past decade-plus I’ve been studying how to ”get it right.” I’ve worked under amazing, creative, successful entrepreneurs and authors and speakers trying to absorb their “tightness.” I became a truly gifted ghostwriter of marketing copy and business-producing content online. I tried on all sorts of career paths and creative pursuits. I built a dozen different businesses myself with websites and offices and social media and all. I even abandoned ALL of it for a good while to create a solid income-producing “second career” as a registered nurse.

The bottom line is that I don’t regret any of the detours I’ve wandered down (or sometimes run down!!) on my way here. And I am beyond excited to embrace this step out into exploring my heart-voice. AND I’m done letting anyone’s critiques OR openness OR anything in between shut my voice down!

I especially want to give a very specific shout-out to Brian from Path to Freedom page and to Jeff from Warrior Poet Coach. Brian’s transparent and open sharing for the purpose of promoting healing for all inspired me to stop waiting for the perfect setup or situation. And Jeff, my life-coach who has completely changed my understanding of coaching, helped me discover the power of making, owning and acting on my choices without waiting for permission or approval from anyone.

Thanks for reading. And celebrating this new beginning-again with me!

Hugs, Photini

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